ONLY US UNLESS YOUR 18 YEARS OR OLDER~~~SAIYO*ISHIDA AND RANDOM-TOMBOY~~~~~~SENSEI LOVE STORIE'S~~~WARNING WARNING NAUGHTY STUFF GO ON IN THIS TOPIC!!!...ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and ges in the living room*...I'm ready to go.....its a good thing your going to be there cause of the two show off's fight....*waits to leace*




iruka:*gets ready and sighs*...

[kakashi]*leaves 2 meet them but obvously doent go on time*..

[me]ok lets go.if they do ill break them up

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and leaves with you to the trianing grounds*




iruka:*leaves to where he goes and sighs*...

[kakashi]*wandering around waisting time*..

[me]*walking with u*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and walks with you to the trianing grounds*




iruka:*leaves to where he goes and sighs*...

[kakashi]*wandering around waisting time*..

[me]*walking with u*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and gets to the trianing grounds*...ok were here....*sees them all hanging out and waiting*

cloud:*siting with his girl*...hi sensei ayumi and sensei kazumi

kaze:*siting ewith his girl*...hi sensei ayumi and sensei kazumi

alacord:*siting with his girl*...hi sensei ayumi and sensei kazumi

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again*...hay...today is the first day of training and me and kazumi have decided to have our teams work togather today...it doesn't mean there will be no training cause there will and its not time for girlfriend and boyfriend stuff so reframe from that.....

3 of them:*smiles*..yes sensei ayumi



~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*wandering around waisting time*..

[all 3]yes ayumi sensei
[me]*tells them 2 spar*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again*...

3 of them:*smiles*..*sparing eachother*



~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*wandering around waisting time*..

[all 3]*sparing*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again*...

3 of them:*smiles*..*sparing eachother*



~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*wandering around waisting time*..

[all 3]*sparing*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again*...thinking...these thoughts of suicide are geting stronger not mater how hard I try thoughts comsume me with every passing moment and I'm losing the battle......I just don't know if I can hold on and I'm not sure if living is the right thing to do....

3 of them:*smiles*..*sparing eachother*



~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*wandering around waisting time*..

[all 3]*sparing*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again*...thinking...how can I live when there is no hope to live for...how can you look forward when your lost in the past....you just can't there is no escaping my fate......


3 of them:*smiles*..*sparing eachother*




~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*ork*..

[all 3]*sparing*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again*...thinking...how can I live when there is no hope to live for...how can you look forward when your lost in the past....you just can't there is no escaping my fate......

cloud:*flirting with his girl*...

kaze:*flirting ewith his girl*..

alacord:*flirting with his girl*...

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

(remeber about us breaking down cause of the feelings between our students remind of us of our heart ake and about our men..)

[kakashi]*ork*..

[all 3]*smirk and flirt back*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas and getting ticked*nows not the time 2 b flirting

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and hears you shouting at the students and looks over to you cause I was in my own world*.....whats going on kazumi?????

cloud:*flirting with his girl*...

kaze:*flirting ewith his girl*..

alacord:*flirting with his girl*...

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*ork*..

[all 3]*nod 2 me and try 2 ignore them*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas and getting ticked*there flirting

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again*.....I already told you three no flirting...no stop it...*sighs remeber kakashi*

cloud:*nods and sneeky flirting with his girl*...

kaze:*nods and sneeky flirting with his girl*...

alacord:*nods and sneeky flirting with his girl*...

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*work*..

[all 3]*smirks and rolls her eyes*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas and getting ticked and misses iruka*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and remeber kakashi and missing him and wishing everything never happened*..thinking...I hate this....I can't even be a sensei and coninute to live mylfe cause I feel there is no life to live....they keep flirting I'm going to burst into tears.....*tears staring to swell in my eyes trying to escape*...

cloud:*nods and sneeky flirting with his girl winks at her*...

kaze:*nods and sneeky flirting with his girl wiggling his eye brows at her*...

alacord:*sneeky flirting with his girl and blowing kisses to her*...

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*work*..

[kimiko]*smirks and rolls her eyes and winks back*
[sherry]*smirks and rolls her eyes and giggles*
[yuki]*smirks and rolls her eyes and blows kisses back*
[me]*watching 2 see who needs help in wut areas and getting ticked and misses iruka**anime vain*i said stop flirting,its depressing us!

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and remeber kakashi and missing him and wishing everything never happened*..yes please stop....its not time for lovly dovey stuff plus we don't want to see that kind of affeaction anymore....

cloud:*looking at me werid*...

kaze:*looking at me werid*...why sensei ayumi...I thought you and kakashi sensei were dating

alacord:*looking at me werid*...yea I heared you were...

me:*the hidden tears began to fall with out me knowing it*...no we where never togather...

cloud:*looking at me worryed*...

kaze:*looking at me worryed*...why are you crying sensei ayumi

alacord:*looking at me worryed*...whats worng sensei ayumi...

me:*tears are streaming down my face with hurt in my eyes*.....I'm not crying...*wipes them away but more tears fall to replace the tears I washed away*....its nothing so don't ask...

cloud:*looking at me worryed*...but sensei ayumi you are crying and we can tell there is something worng......what is it????

kaze:*looking at me worryed*...yes sensei ayumi is it what I said about you and kakashi???

alacord:*looking at me worryed*...

me:*tears stream faster making thier way down my cheeks and hiting the ground and I turn my back to them and the tears flow like an bottomless ocaen*



~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*work*..

[kimiko]*smirks and rolls her eyes and winks back*
[sherry]*smirks and rolls her eyes and giggles*
[yuki]*smirks and rolls her eyes and blows kisses back*
[me]*sighs deeply*ayumi u can go home if u want.i dont mind sis.do u want us 2 walk u there??*thinks:ill tell em after..*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and remeber kakashi and missing him and wishing everything never happened and the tears streaming down my face*..umm no...I can walk home by my self....

cloud:*looking at me worryed*...

kaze:*looking at me worryed*...

alacord:*looking at me worryed*...

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*dismisses class early*..

[kimiko]*concered*
[sherry]*concered*
[yuki]*concered*
[me]*sighs deeply*ok ayumi..ill b home in a few hours*hugs u*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and remeber kakashi and missing him and wishing everything never happened and the tears streaming down my face and hugs back and lets go*..ok ayumi...I love you...*walks away*

cloud:*looking at me worryed*...

kaze:*looking at me worryed*...

alacord:*looking at me worryed*...

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*dismisses class early*..

[kimiko]*concered*
[sherry]*concered*
[yuki]*concered*
[me]*sighs deeply*dont metion kakashi 2 her or iruka 2 me..they kissed another girl the day after we got 2gether..(not going into details)

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and tears streaming down my face as I make my way out of the training grounds* thinking...I can't take it anymore!!!...its just too much to bare....I'm going to eand my life its not worth living any more...I'm going to end my life tonight I will have enough time cause kazumi won't be home ti'll after I am gone from this world...I will use father sword to end my life and I will use it to kill myself at the one place I have felt love after all this pain had started...I will do it at mine and kazumi's parents graves....yea its alot better then to be a bured to kazumi she can barly take care of her self and she is trying to care of me and that will break her even more and she will be the one to fall then me.....


~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs*...alright sensei kazumi

kaze:*sighs*...ok sensei kazumi

alacord:*sighs*.....ok sensei kazumi..

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*decides 2 walk through the graveyard 2 ask ur parents 4giveness*..

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*contiune sparing

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to make the pain again and tears streaming down my face as I make my way back to our place and go into the closet in the hall and pull out fathers sword from were we stored it and looks the sheath sword and partly unseaths it and tears stream from my face and fall onto the unsheath part of the blade of the sword as I look at it* ....father I bet you never thought one of your own chidren would take thier life with your very sword....I'm sorry I'm too weak to hold on in this world....*puts the sword all the way back into the sheath and wraps it up and straps it to my back and walks in my room and grabs a paper and pen and goes into the living room and writes a suicide letter to you*


SUICIDE NOTE

Dear kazumi,

If your reading this letter I am already gone from this world. I just could bare another moment of living. I was trying to live for you but was able to hold on…..my tears kept flowing with no hope of the tears ever drying up…I’m sorry I’m only bring you more pain but you know its just to much to bare…to never be whole again…..I couldn’t live like that for another moment….I wasn’t strong enough for any one to hold me to this world…I’m was to broken to stay…to walk around as a shell of someone you once was is no way for anyone to live…..you know sooner or later this was coming it was a matter of time before I ended my life and I didn’t want to leave my child behind in this cruel world filled with lies, broken promises, shattered dreams, broken hearts and lost souls filled with sorrow…..who would have thought that this is the way my life would end by my own hands…I love you kazumi and I know at this moment you reading this letter doesn’t seem like it but I truly couldn’t stay…I had to part from our life I wasn’t even breathing or living and it was so painful to feel every moment pass cause it seemed like eternity and the days grew longer for me, the days became years and the years became eternal….I watched everyone we know laugh and smile and to feel love and I knew I will never feel that way and to never know love again….I have no faith in love or was able to give love to others cause it died in that one day filled with sorrow….I will understand if you hate me for leaving you alone in this world but I hope you can forgive me…..if you never forgive me I will continue to love you…even when we had each other I still felt so alone cause we were both so broken that we couldn’t hold on to each other in our pain…I wanted to believe that we could breath again but every time I tried my sorrow only would chock me and remind me of my sorrow and that their will be no one to wipe my tears away or someone to help me fight my fears…I’ve tried to pretend the hurt would fade but the more I tried to deny the pain the stronger the need to part from this world, the stronger the need to leave forever…......forgive me

Love ayumi


*tears falling down my face and I put the pen down and reach my hands around my neck and take off my gloden heart locket our parents given me along with your matching one for our 5th birth-days and lays it over the letter for you and gets up and walsk out the door making my way to the grave yard*

gloden heart locket


~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*decides 2 walk through the graveyard 2 ask ur parents 4giveness*..

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*emoitionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind to making me feel the pain in my heart and tears streaming down my face as I make my way to the grave yard and walk in and walk towards thier grave and stop infront of thier headstone and tears stream down my face sting my eyes and talks outloud so our paresnts can hear me*...I'm sorry mother and father but I can't hold on...I can't live with this pain its to much for anyone to bare....I'm just to lost and broken to be saved....I can't live a life without knowing love......father you know once a female neko is broken her stregth and will to live leaves her and all that is left is a shell filled with sorrow.....to live a life alone with no one to say they love you is to much and I'm to broken to face another day of this shattered feel deep inside me...I know you came and seen us to give us stregth and I am glade I got to see both before I end my life....I want you to watch over kazumi she will need you but all I am is a bured to her and draging her down with me...she is much strogher than I am and she will make it through but I can not...if both of us hang on to eachother one will fall and take the other with them and I couldent do that to kazumi...forgive me...*takes the sword from my back and hold it infront of my and unsheath its sheath and drop the sheath to the ground and look at the blade as tears fall and I look fward with tears stream down my face and puts the end of the sword under my chin and press the blade deep enough and blood runs down the blade to prepare me for the finally blow and I close my eyes and tears pour down my face as I pull my hands down with the sword pointed up under my chin and start to push the sword to perce my flesh*

my tears
The end tears


me with the sword at night





~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*sees u and qyickly runs 2 u*AYUMI DONT DO IT!!!!!!*takes it from u and drops it 2 the floor and hugs u cring*d..dont do it..*hugs u closer and tighter and kisses u passionatly*please..dont do it..

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*emotionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind as tears roll down my face*...GET OFF!!!...I WANT TO DIE...I DON'T WANT TOLIVE YOU CANT STOP ME!!!...I WILL NOT LIVE ANOTHER MOMENT LIKE THIS KAKASHI...GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE!!!..*gets from his grip and staires at him with cold glare with tears streaming from my eyes*.....WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE..REMEBER WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!!...LEAVE ME ALONE....YOU DON'T LOVE ME OR CARE ABOUT ME SO WHY SHOULD I KILL MYSELF....YOU DON'T UNDERSTNAD THE PAIN I'M IN AND YOU CAN NVER UNDERSTAND WHAT IT FEEL TO BE SO ALONE!!!!...LEAVE NOW!!!!!!!!..I HATE YOU...GO DIE SOME WHERE!!!!!!.....



tears with rage hiden behinde them


~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*cring*ur wrong..im sorry 4 wut i did but i dont care 4 her.i love u ayumi..and i no i hurt u and im sorry..i dont deserve 4 u 2 4give me butu dont deserve 2 die..if u can truly say u hate me and want me dead u can kill me urself..*gets on both his knees with his hands in front of him and hands u the sword*if u really want me dead i want u 2 b the 1 2 kill me..behead me..
*sitting like this but on his knees and his head down*


[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*emotionless face with suicide thoughts going through my mind as tears roll down my face*...NO I WON'T DO IT......I DON'T WANT TO KILL YOU....*trows our fathers sword to the ground*.......I DON'T WANT YOU TO CAUSE I WANT TO DIE!!!!....I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU KAKASI....ONE MINUTE YOU WONT ME THEN YOU DON'T AND NOW YOU DO....I DON'T UNDERSTAND......I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!!!!!!!.....YOU THINK I'M GOING TO PLAY THE FOOL AGAIN YOUR OUT OF YOUR MIND!!!!!!!



~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*cring*i never said u had 2 4give me..and u were never playing the fool..i was and still m.im human,im not perfect i make mistakes and i learn from them.i love u and thats all i need u 2 no.u dont have 2 belive me u just have 2 no i said it and i do mean it even if u may think i dont..so if u wont want 2 end my life ill do it.cuz if u kill urself theres no reason 4 me 2 live.dont worry i wont use ur fathers sword..*takes out a kunai and presses it 2 his chest wer his heart is and starts pushing it in a little at a time so he dies a slow painful death like she wanted him 2*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*fear fills my body and quickle transofrm into my neko form and with my demon speed get near him and grab his hand and careful pull his hand from his heart and take the kunai from his hand and throw it to the ground in tears and place my hand over his wound and tears stream down my face and look him in his eyes*.....please I don't want you to die...I havent stoped loving you..I only said I hated you cause its easyer to say I hate you then to edmit I still love you...I didnt mean what I said I wish you were dead when the truth is I can't stop loving you and I thought if you were dead maybe the pain would go away in my heart but I know that isint true it was something I was trying to tell myself so it won't be so hard to excpt the truth......the reason I want to die is I dont want to live my life with out you and death seem like the only way to exscape the pain of you not loving me.....



~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*cring and holds her*im sorry..i love u..i dont care about her at all..i no i hurt u and dont deserve 2 b 4given and u were right..i do deserve 2 die a slow painful death 4 wut i did 2 u..and i dont deserve 2 see our child..*gentaly places his hand on ur stomic*i've cause u nothing but pain..im sorry*holds u closer and cries into ur shirt*

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*shocked with tears rolling down my face and wraps my arms around him*....how did you know I was pregnant??!?!?!?!?....I didnt tell you so how did you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?..



~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*working and sighs*...

[kakashi]*cring and holds her*iruka and i heard u 2 talking here last night..ur right i dont deserve 2 b apart of there life and the only thing i deserve is 2 a slow painful daeth like u said..other wise i wouldva just slit my throat wen i pulled out my kunai..im sorry 4 everything ive done 2 u..my sorry i made such a bad mistake..i love u and i always will..even if u truely hate me..i can never hate u..i love u 2 much 2 b able 2 hate u..im sorry..*holds u closer and cries into ur shirt more*

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*tears rolling down my face with my arms wraped around him*....I told you I don't hate you and it will be along time before I can forgive you or trust you....I never stoped loving you.....its not easy to think someone you love with all your heart could love another and be able to say to say to your self that you still love them cause you don't want to think of the pain you will have to face when you edmit you can't stop loving them and could nver truly hate the one you love......I just couldent live if I wasent the one you love and then knowing you loved another was to much for me to want to face so it seem much easyer to die in peace then live a life of misaery....I love you kakashi...I could never hate you........I just don't trust you.....


~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*goes out to eat with naruto at the ramen bar and hardly eats and sighs*...

[kakashi]*cring and holds u*i dont blame u im sorry..i lvoe..and last night wut u told me wen i went 2 see if u wer ok..how u told me u trurly hated me i wantted 2 die..im sorry 4 wut i did..i dont deserve u..u deserve better then me..some1 that wont hurt u like this..

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*tears rolling down my face with my arms wraped around him*...kakashi I only want you......I don't want anyone else....I love you and I didn't mean what I said when I truly hated you...I said in hope it would hurt you like you were hurting me.....I love you and won't stop loving you.....*puts my hand under his chin and qentily pulls his chin up so he looking at me and kisses him passionatly as tear roll down my face cause I thought I would never be able to kiss him again*


~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*goes out to eat with naruto at the ramen bar and hardly eats and sighs*...

[kakashi]*kisses back back passionatly adn wipes ur tears away and then his own and holds u closer 2 him*

[kimiko]*concered*ok
[sherry]*concered*ok
[yuki]*concered*ok
[me]*sighs deeply*

me:......*snuggles my face into him and tears fall*....I still want to be with you but I will be awhile before I can truly trust you......I love you and I don't want to stop loving you....you must think I'm so weak that I could undure the pain and be strong and go on and how selfish I have become I would have left kaumi alone and I now in my heart if I had killed my self she would have cause she don't even have me to talk too and understand her pain like I can.....I didn'twant to tell you I was pregnant cause I didn't ant to know that you were not just rejecting me but also our child and to have you qwustion if the baby is even yours........


~~~you~~~
cloud:*sighs and sparing*

kaze:*sighs and sparing*

alacord:*sighs and sparing*

~~~iruka~~~~
iruka:*goes out to eat with naruto at the ramen bar and hardly eats and sighs*...

(real me:..if you want you can go home and find my suicide letter and go and find me...)

[kakashi]*holds u closer 2 him*i no and im sorry..its my fault..i love u..i dont want 2 b with out u..u dont have 2 say yes but please at least think about it..


[kimiko]*concered*
[sherry]*concered*
[yuki]*concered*
[me]*sighs deeply*ok ur all dismissed 4 2day.*goes home sees the letter and runs 2 the grave cring noing thats wer u would go 2 end ur life*AYUMI!?!?!?!?!